New Year fathering resolutions, anyone?
STRONG families are intentional. They do not happen by chance. This beginning quarter of 2010 (and welcoming the Year of the Tiger!) is a great time to make certain fathering decisions that will help you build healthy families.
Career and family
Decide today that your career is only as good as your family. Family is like a base camp for mountain climbers. If you want to climb mountains, you must have a good base camp, a place where there are shelter and resources, a place where you can nurture and rest before attempting to reach another summit. You will not go far or achieve much without your solid base camp. If you want to climb high, then tend to the base camp and keep it in good shape. You will be healthier, happier, more effective persons if you do.
Personal projects and family
Decide today that your children are more important than your personal projects. Be willing to pause for a moment, look them in the eye and listen to them for what they need. Set aside regular family time during the week, a time that you will protect from intrusion by unimportant "urgent" matters.
Placing academic performance in context
Decide today that your children are special no matter how they fare in school. Let them know without a doubt that they are loved and cherished regardless of their grades.
- Academic performance is just one of the many gifts our children can be blessed with but not the only one.
- They have new skills to learn but they are not failures.
- They may not meet someone else’s expectation but they will succeed with a father who believes in them.
Reflection pointers for fathers
Do we measure our happiness in our children by their results and achievements or do we have happiness in our children despite their results and achievements?
Action pointers for fathers
- Stick little notes in places that your child will find it after you leave for work (eg. inside their clothes drawer, inside their pencil box, on the screen of their mobile phone).
- Let them know you appreciate and love them on these notes, love with “no strings attached”.
Other articles in the "Fathering Matters" series